Whats the glycemic index on semen?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
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