sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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