I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
