Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
