I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
She even gives head with a lisp.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
