If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
He is an equal opportunity slut.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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