Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
oh god was she eating orange peels again
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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