GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
