I'm eating all of the evidence.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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