My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize