My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
