I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
