It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
