Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
