I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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