He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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