There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Randomize
