Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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