Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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