You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
