I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
