Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
