who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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