It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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