yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
