Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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