her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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