Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Your cock deserves a montage
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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