I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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