someone get that fucking seahorse.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
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