On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
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