we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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