I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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