Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
