Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
