He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
