you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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