Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
it wasn't lemon gatorade
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
