Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
