People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
