Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
