the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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