dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
