Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
