Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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