how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
