I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Randomize
