I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
