Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
We named our party play list daddy issues
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
