I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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