my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Randomize
