I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
