The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
