The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
