great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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