The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize