But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
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