Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
