Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Randomize
