??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
