Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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