don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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