oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
