I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
