look no pants
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
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