Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
