on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
