Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
